Why shouldn't a man get married?
Your boyfriend doesn't want to get married?
You are in love up to your ears and want to seal your love with a wedding - but your boyfriend doesn't want to get married? Find out possible reasons for his phobia of marriage and how to deal with it correctly.
To marry or not? Opinions are divided on this question. The fact is: In a partnership it is often the woman who dreams of a wedding in white - while the man can imagine a happy relationship without getting married. In fact, many men do not want to get married even though they are in love.
This can put the partner and thus the partnership to the test. My boyfriend doesn't want to get married - what are the reasons? Does he really love me? - Many women ask themselves these questions when the hoped-for marriage proposal fails to materialize. We'll tell you why some men do not want to appear before the altar as a matter of principle, and how you as a woman deal with this decision. Perhaps the man is also preoccupied with the subject, and he dreams of getting married. Also, inquire about the different ideas that the Having zodiac signs from getting married.
When is a man ready to get married?
“When is a man ready to get married?” Unfortunately, there is no general answer to this question. In general it can be said: For women, marriage is a matter close to the heart and a wonderful opportunity to seal their love, men see this more pragmatically. When a man is ready for marriage is very individual and depends on a wide variety of factors. While one sees his personal freedom at risk, another simply considers a marriage to be too strenuous and overpriced.
In general, the financial aspect often plays a decisive role. After all, the dream wedding is just the beginning of a long chain of expenses. After you get married, you may want to finance your own home, and there are other responsibilities associated with starting a family.
Men, in particular, who see themselves as sole earners after marriage, fear the financial responsibility that comes with it. Car, vacation, hobby - after starting a family there is less time and money for all of this. Therefore, many men do not feel ready for marriage until they have realized themselves.
Will he marry me?
Very few men let their feelings run free and show openly what they really feel. Therefore, your powers of observation are required if you want to find out if your friend really loves you and may soon be asking you the question of all questions. You should look out for these signs:
- He shows you every day that you are his number one: you have his undivided attention, always. Sideways glances? Not with him!
- He not only compliments you on your appearance, but also praises your inner values - he knows you very well.
- He thinks of your anniversaries, but also surprises you outside of anniversaries with small gifts or flowers.
- He talks a lot about your future together. Whether building a house or planning a child: He is open and speaks important topics of his own accord.
- He seeks contact and prefers to be with you. If something good or bad happens to him, he'll tell you about it first.
But even if all or many of these points apply to you and your partner, you should not be alarmed if the application is a long time coming. Your boyfriend doesn't want to get married? That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you (enough). Many men do not want to get married for a variety of reasons.
Why don't men want to get married?
He loves me but doesn't want to get married - what am I doing wrong? Doesn't he love me When the long-awaited marriage proposal fails to materialize, tormenting questions like these haunt women. It often has nothing to do with the partner that a man does not want to get married.
If your friend is reluctant to step down the aisle, there can be various reasons. Of course, every man is individual - and his reasons against marriage are probably just as individual. There are, however, some points that are very common in connection with men who shy away from marriage.
Boyfriend does not want to get married - possible reasons
A wedding is exhausting and expensive
Starting with the sparkling engagement ring, through the paperwork to the honeymoon: Even if you celebrate the happiness of marriage as a couple at the registry office or in a small group, the couple has to face some costs. Anyone planning a dream wedding with the whole family and closest friends must expect sums in the four to five-digit range. In addition: Planning a lavish wedding celebration can be quite exhausting and often takes a few months.
A marriage certificate cannot save a battered relationship
Of course, feelings for one another may deepen after the wedding. But that shouldn't be the main reason for marriage. If there is a crisis in love, you cannot bind the partner to you with a marriage certificate.
And a lavish wedding certainly doesn't improve a battered relationship either. If either of you has faint doubts about the relationship, marriage is not advisable.
Getting married comes with a greater responsibility
Men feel responsible for their partner - sometimes even more after they get married. One reason your boyfriend might not want to get married is because they want to offer you something, and to do that they have to build something up.
Emotional maturity is also crucial in a man. For this reason, many men do not feel emotionally ready for marriage until they are 30 or even 40.
A wedding could end in divorce
While people used to stay together for the rest of their lives, nowadays every second to third marriage ends in divorce. Marriage is by no means a guarantee of a happy relationship - this is especially painful for men who have already had a failed marriage.
Even if your boyfriend is the child of divorce, this bad experience could have sparked serious fear of failure in him - and ultimately a reason for his phobia of marriage.
Getting married makes a separation difficult
Divorce is rarely made easy. In addition to the war of paper, the divorce costs and the spouse's maintenance, there is also the so-called separation year, which must be completed before the marriage is dissolved. The fact is: A marriage makes it even more difficult to separate in case of doubt. Therefore, the step in front of the altar should be well thought out - by both partners, of course.
Marriage could limit personal freedom
Another reason why the boyfriend does not want to marry: the male desire for freedom. The well-known writer Oscar Wilde summed it up with his statement about marriage, in which he described it as "mutual deprivation of liberty by mutual consent". With a marriage, a home of their own and children together, the man's pressure to succeed increases, while at the same time the amount of time and money he has to live out his personal needs decreases. This fear of losing independence is a common reason why men do not want to get married.
The social pressure is too great
When will you finally get married? Aren't you starting to think about family planning? As you get older and as your relationship grows longer, you hear these and other questions more and more frequently. When it comes to getting married, the social pressure is great for both men and women.
Some men do not want to bow to these social conventions on principle. If a marriage, then of his own free will - not because others expect him to. Who likes to be told how to lead their lives?
Getting married doesn't make you happier
While a wedding in white is a matter close to the heart for women, men approach the topic more pragmatically. If marriage does not offer any real added value in their eyes, the (financial) effort is simply not worth it for many men. After all, you can swear eternal loyalty even without a ring on your finger. Getting married in itself doesn't make you happier and there is no lifelong guarantee with or without a marriage certificate.
A happy relationship without getting married?
You don't need a marriage certificate to profess your mutual love. Instead of doing it in front of the registrar, family, and friends, you can say yes to each other every day - by both saying yes to your relationship. Your boyfriend doesn't want to get married? Try not to let this unsettle you. A happy relationship, even without getting married, is not a myth.
Admittedly, married couples often have an easier time starting a family. You can also start a family without getting married. If you are expecting a child unmarried, you will probably have to reckon with a little extra bureaucratic work. However: In order to give your offspring the feeling of love, stability and security, you do not need a ring or a marriage certificate.
When should you get married?
Family and friends often have a very precise idea of when to get married. For your own parents in particular, things can usually not go fast enough with their dream wedding and their offspring. The first questions come up after two years at the latest. Statistically, you have a little more time: Most couples go to the altar after three to five years.
But there are also many who wait ten or twelve years to say yes. But of course that is not an argument to do the same thing. Marry or not, this is an important question that you should listen to your heart and each other alone. In the end, the only thing that matters is what makes you happy as a man and woman.
Would you like to seal your love with a dream wedding, but your boyfriend does not want to get married? Talk to our sensitive advisors. They show you possible solutions and help you to achieve your own personal happiness in love. »Choose an advisor now
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