Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever cheated on you

Is your girlfriend cheating? 17 signs and what you can do!


Shock, disappointment and jealousy run deep: Your wife or girlfriend is cheating! Or at least you have the strong suspicion that there is something in the bush because of certain signs ...

Maybe you found out from three corners that she was supposed to have made out with another man at a party. You may also have read a tell-tale WhatsApp message on her cell phone.

Or she's been acting so strangely in your relationship lately: For example, she doesn't want sex anymore, is becoming more and more distant and instead spends time with this other guy and her friends all the time.

Out of distrust you keep an eye on the matter and hope that you are wrong and that it is true to you. But the further you dig deeper and observe their behavior, the more telltale signs of cheating you will notice ...

Is my wife / girlfriend cheating? 17 signs in the test!

Your fear is now great that she has cheated on you and you would like to shoot her with this sh *** ing guy on the moon. But has the woman really cheated on you, or is it perhaps just a misunderstanding in the partnership? What is the truth now?

Take the “infidelity test”! Here are the 17 biggest signs that your girlfriend is cheating:

  • Suddenly she no longer wants you to pick up her cell phone, let alone read her WhatsApp messages.
  • She also has other secrets from you on the computer or in her apartment, where you used to have unhindered access.
  • If your partner goes somewhere alone, she dresses up like a model contest to please other men.
  • There are often bitter arguments in your partnership. Or you have become estranged from each other and hardly talk to each other anymore, not even about your relationship problems.
  • There is calm in bed, you have little or no sex or only listless sex.
  • You know she's cheated on her ex-boyfriend too.
  • Suddenly she doesn't care about your relationship: She is happy when you are with your friends more and more often. Or she even lets you get away with flirting with other women with no sign of jealousy.
  • She behaves strangely when she receives messages on Facebook or WhatsApp on her cell phone and does not want to open them in your presence.
  • Lately she has been doing a lot of “overtime” at work or seems totally obsessed with her yoga / pilates / fitness training.
  • She meets again with some "girlfriends" you don't know.
  • There are always girls 'evenings or, as a step up, girls' vacations at malls, where she might get to know other men.
  • She always comes home late without you knowing where she was. In addition, she often disappears for no reason or with implausible excuses and lies if she wants to conceal her possible cheating.
  • The two of you, on the other hand, hardly do anything together as a couple in your free time, you live past each other in your relationship.
  • Your girlfriend answers less and less, whether by WhatsApp message or phone call. Also, she no longer says on the phone that she loves and misses you.
  • You know there's a guy out there (her "best buddy") who she's around a lot and who she may have more than friendship with.
  • At your meetings, she often seems lost in thought and is out of focus because she is probably thinking about their affair.
  • Out of the blue, she's in an overly good mood, perhaps because this other man (and the sex with him) gives her a whole new sense of happiness.

So take the test by paying more attention to whether you can detect one or more of these signs of cheating on your girlfriend or wife!

Suspicion of infidelity: Do not react too suspiciously!

But be careful: you shouldn't be scared too much. Not every suspicious behavior has to be a sign that the woman has cheated and is having an affair. What looks to us men like infidelity and lies can also be a more or less harmless defense reaction to problems in your relationship. For this, just 4 selected examples:

1. She distances herself because she takes time

She has less and less time for you, suddenly doesn't want sex and hardly ever text you on WhatsApp? Then it doesn't necessarily have to be the case that your girlfriend is cheating. Maybe she is just looking for distance from you and doesn't want to be with you to calmly think about your relationship crisis.

2. Distractions and conversations with friends

The frequent meetings with their girls or their best buddy can also simply serve to distract yourself from the stress and to talk to people you trust about relationship problems.

3. Secrecy due to loss of trust

Perhaps you are no longer allowed to read her messages on the cell phone because she no longer trusts you and no longer wants you to be part of her life. The same could be true of other secrets she suddenly has from you.

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4. She seeks, but wants a "clean" separation

What if she flirts with other men? Then she may already be looking for a new partner, but would end your relationship in good time before things get serious with the new man in her life (i.e. dating, kissing and sex). Then you can no longer say that your girlfriend is cheating.

So you can only be one hundred percent sure that she is cheating on you if you openly address your suspicions and she has an honest conversation together to clarify (more on this below!).

When do you start cheating? Understand women's needs

This leads to the question: When do you start cheating? Everyone has a few indecent fantasies, including the girls. Dirty thoughts, however, are not cheating with women, but only indicate unfulfilled sexual desires that you as a man should satisfy.

Even if your girlfriend looks after other men in town or at a party, you shouldn't be jealous. As long as your partnership is intact and the woman is in the mood for you, this does not mean a warning signal for an impending affair.

After all, getting an appetite is allowed as long as you eat at home, as the saying goes ;-)

Otherwise, it all depends on what rules you have agreed on in your relationship. For most couples, kissing someone else at a party is considered a cheat. "Extramarital" sex (affairs and one-night stands) anyway.

If something like this happens contrary to your agreement, it is of course a fraudulent breach of trust. Then you can no longer overlook it, but should act urgently.

What to do if the woman cheats Act like this!

How can you deal with the fear that your girlfriend is cheating on you or has cheated on you? In order to behave correctly and to find out the truth if possible, I advise you to take the following steps:

Do not spy on her secretly

The temptation to snoop around and control is great for us men in every respect: Just grab her cell phone and read her WhatsApp chat history while she is briefly on the toilet. Or follow her and see if she's really seeing her best friend or if she's having an affair.

Many a jealous husband even rummages through the dirty laundry basket or looks for clues under the bed ...

Before you play a detective and literally stick your nose in everywhere, my advice: Never sniff after her to find out whether the woman is cheating, but keep a cool head!

Because even if there is something to your suspicion of infidelity and you convict them of lying, this investigation is another breach of trust.

Absolute relationship killer is also a question like:

"What does this message from the guy on your cell phone mean ?!"

Your partner will feel that her privacy has been violated during this control, especially if your fear of fling turns out to be unfounded in the end. Then it becomes all the more difficult to save the partnership and the lost trust.

Confrontation: No accusations, interrogations and arguments

Even if you are irritated, jealous and angry: Try to be calm and not start an argument.

Because what happens if you come with direct allegations that your girlfriend has cheated on and has sex with other men? Then she will switch to emotional defense all the more and defend herself in conversation.

This reduces the chances that she will tell you the whole truth and that you can find a mutual solution in your broken relationship.

So avoid aggressive, reproachful questions like:

  • "Where have you been for so long?"
  • "Who is this guy, damn it?"
  • "Why didn't you get in touch?"
  • "What does this crap mean here?"
  • "What are all the lies?"
  • "Why do you suddenly have all these secrets from me?"
  • "Are you strangers to me / Are you unfaithful to me?"

The woman should not feel like she is being interrogated, but should have the feeling that she can say anything to you in the conversation, with maximum honesty.

But how do you, as a man, find the right words to confront them and address the sensitive topic of "fling"?

Have a clarifying conversation - but factually!

Is the girlfriend cheating? How do you get an honest answer to the tricky question about an affair? The only solution is a sensible conversation in which you address your suspicions of infidelity very matter-of-factly but openly. To do this, you should follow two rules:

1. Tell her how you currently feel about your relationship

Instead of accusations, you should make a so-called I-message formulate. That means: Explain to her what you think and feel about the current state of your partnership.

Avoid stimulating words such as “sex”, “cheating” or “cheating” on the girlfriend, because these terms could make the woman feel attacked and block an honest conversation.

In order to adequately express your suspicion, you can say something like (analogously!), For example:

“I have the feeling that we have become more and more distant from each other in the last few weeks. We hardly talk to each other anymore and spend less and less time together.

If there is another man in your life please tell me the truth now. Then we can see how we deal with it, because I want to have an honest relationship in which we both play with open cards! "

2. Disclose another reason for your distrust

It is also helpful if you ask for understanding for your distrust. Explain to her where the thought comes from that she is cheating on you as a friend:

“I've been cheated on in past relationships and been ripped off by women. Therefore, I am afraid that such a breach of trust will happen to me again and that is why I need absolute clarity. "

In this way, she will understand that your mistrust not only has to do with her behavior, but possibly also with emotional injuries that you yourself have suffered in the past. This takes the edge off your conversation and can help you talk openly and honestly with one another - without further lies.

If the girlfriend has NOT cheated ...

Perhaps she can credibly assure you in her answer that everything was a misunderstanding and that as a man you don't have to worry. But even if the woman has not cheated and has always been loyal:

Nevertheless, you shouldn't go back to the old rut that drove the cart of your partnership in the mud. Instead, use the current situation as an opportunity for a fresh start!

Work together on your relationship in order to find each other stronger again in everyday life as well as in bed. The common goal should be that you can “blindly” trust each other in the future.

Can you forgive her cheating?

What if she was actually unfaithful to you or is still having an affair? What if she suddenly bursts into tears and confesses everything or becomes entangled in unfounded contradictions with her lies?

To find out the truth hurts us men a lot! I have already written an article on whether and when you can forgive your partner for cheating.

The most important thing here is how often, how long and how hard your wife or girlfriend cheated on you in bed (only kiss or sex). The reason for the infidelity as well as remorse and a sense of guilt also play an important role in your decision.

But you should also listen to your feelings and ask yourself: Can you ever trust her again in a partnership?

I want to be completely honest with you and not give you false hopes. In my experience, after everything I have experienced myself and heard from good acquaintances: If the girlfriend (or the man too) is cheating, the chances of saving his relationship are slim.

Is your trust broken forever?

In this case, I recommend that you initiate a breakup, overcome your lovesickness and dare to start over. The following tips can help you get started:

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How she misses you so much while writing that she "YES" says to the date!

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