Is it wrong to admire hard workers?

Making compliments: this is how it works

make compliments, is an art in itself. Those who master them are successful in their job and in their private life. Psychologists claim that the ability to give honest compliments is a wonderful tool to open doors, to arrive better on the team, Sympathies to win and to improve the atmosphere in general. In short: compliments strengthen relationships. However, they have to come from the heart, otherwise they can easily be confused with flattery, or worse: with slovenliness ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Compliment and flattery: a tightrope walk

There is actually a difference between that make compliments and flatter. The second implies exaggeration positive traits of a person. Often facts are ascribed to someone that do not exist in this way. A compliment, however, lifts one delicate way the peculiarities of the interlocutor, but remains true.

Compare for yourself: How does it affect you?

  • These colour suits you really well.
  • I admire yours talentto tackle the tasks.
  • Class that you look for this details owns.
  • Wow! You look like always super sexy out.
  • Better than you can anyway nobody here in the office.
  • Man, you always know one thing for everything answer.

A successful compliment leaves you with the other person pleasant impression, flattery, on the other hand, usually provokes suspicion - you can feel it intention and is out of tune. Or you look for the hook - like a poisoned compliment ("YOU can wear that ...!")

But be careful: the amount of compliments, the right time and the occasion must be right, otherwise the effect will be reversed. Too many compliments make you suspicious and resemble slime. Affected people can then quickly think that they want something from him or her, possibly even something suggestive.

4 types of compliments: Small difference, big impact

There are four Kinds of complimentsthat may be appropriate for colleagues and business partners:

  1. Compliments on personality

    The compliment to someone's personality because of their personality Skills and his Character.

    Vanessa, I like your determination; your ability to always achieve the goal. It always looks like everything comes easy to you. But I know there's hard work and skill behind it.

    The key with this type of compliment is that you mention it specifically and factually especially is in this person and justify this professionally. This type of compliment is perfect for the work environment.

  2. Compliments on material goods

    The compliment too more material objects (Phone, computer, car, apartment, house and so on).

    Peter, your new smartphone is just great. Is that the newest model? Man, that was definitely expensive, wasn't it ?!

    Compliments on tangible possessions can be considered as quick envy be interpreted. If you want to praise your colleague's watch or car, include a professional reference if possible: “I think your watch is great - it shows understatement without intrusive ostentation. Just like your work. " So this form of compliment is also suitable for the job. However, you should use it sparingly. Those who only praise material things seem slightly superficial or snobbish.

  3. Compliments on feelings

    The compliment too emotionswaking a person.

  4. Markus, I feel safe next to you. You are always so determined and never lose sight of the common thread. It gives me the feeling that I can do it too.

    There is nothing wrong with being open about own feelings to speak. Most colleagues and bosses will admire you for it. However, the level, the type of feeling and the person to whom the compliment is addressed are again decisive: praising someone for promoting you is harmless. On the other hand, when it comes to romantic feelings, the compliment is immediately suggestive. Definitely unsuitable for the office. You should also consider carefully which feelings (and weaknesses) you are revealing in this way.

  5. Compliments on outward appearances

    Compliments about Externals (Makeup, clothes, hairstyle, figure and so on).

  6. Your hairstyle looks great today. It emphasizes your eyes enormously.

    If they are honest and come from the heart, these compliments also enter the recipient good feeling and are happy to be heard. But they are dangerous in the office: they are usually not a problem among same-sex colleagues. But if the boss says such a compliment to you Employees off (possibly in front of an audience), can quickly turn on captivating impression arise. Such compliments are usually interpreted as attempts at flirtation between men and women and can seriously disrupt the working atmosphere.

Compliments in the office: a good idea?

In the job, compliments apply special caution. For example, when it comes to the appearance of a colleague, a professional limit can quickly be exceeded. A nicely meant compliment may then be perceived as intrusive and unpleasant.

However, you don't have to do without compliments in the office entirely. It is important that these are meant honestly and are accordingly authentic. False hypocrisy never goes down well, but sincere compliments flatter everyone.

Compliments on the job are particularly suitable at the beginning of a conversation or small talk. They're a wonderful icebreaker and help break up the atmosphere.

Compliments as a conversation starter and icebreaker

  • You have a disarming Smile.
  • When my interlocutors always like this enjoyable would be.
  • you have one excellent Observation.
  • You have a special ability, the Sense of the matter to recognize.
  • I think it's good that you are one of these steadfast Have character.
  • Your quality is considerable.
  • I can from you learn a lot.
  • It was very enjoyableto talk to you.

However, as I said, you should do it with all of this do not exaggerate. Appropriate compliments can also create a negative impression in excess. Paracelsus already recognized that the dose makes the poison.

Compliments to the boss

Most employees think that praise, compliments, and appreciation are pure Boss thing are. After all, it should value and motivate its employees.

But it works the other way around. Bosses are also people who now and then receive recognition and need social feedback. This is the only way they can learn what is well received by the workforce and whether or not you Leadership style encourages, encourages and challenges. So why not praise the boss too?

The reason why so few dare to do it is simply because you get your skin gout so quickly Chef suppositories and booties appends. Colleagues rarely react to this in a tolerant manner, but rather tend to ostracize and exclude the supposed geek. Fatal!

Therefore, pay attention to when and where you place such compliments. In front of an audience (and colleagues), you should drop the first kind of compliment - and that too only dosed. In private you can also become a little more personal or talk about (positive!) Feelings. But always everything in moderation.

Every boss likes to hear these compliments

  • You are a good boss. Not just because you get the best out of people, but also because you understand them.
  • I keep noticing that you are not indifferent to the workforce. You stand up for your employees - I appreciate you enormously for that.
  • They taught me to organize my work better. As a result, I have gained a lot more self-confidence - for that: Thank you very much!
  • They are sometimes strict, but always professional and fair. This is a real role model for me.

Getting compliments: Embarrassed thanks

Do you like getting compliments? Most people would likely answer "yes". However, many do not know how to react to a compliment. If they are complimented, it embarrasses those affected and puts them in an uncomfortable position.

There is a pronounced sense of shame instead of joy or pride. Often the situation is made worse by the resulting break.

So in conclusion: Three tipsto properly respond to a compliment:

  • Accept

    The compliment will be you to surprise - maybe due to a lack of self-confidence or a learned one Humility. Affected people reject the praise because it seems embarrassing, exaggerated or unjustified to them and you do not recognize your own abilities and strengths in it.

    Counteract this - and At the same time, strengthen your self-confidence. Realize that you have qualities that are quite admirable. They deserve praise and recognition - like all of us (especially if it comes from the heart and is true).

  • remain silent

    Quite a few respond to a compliment with one Countercompliment. Or you try to downplay, distract, and change the subject. A classic heroic emergency exit - but also a mistake.

    With such a reflex you not only diminish your own compliment - your answer often also creates a dishonest impression on the person you are talking to, because it looks as if you are trying to compensate for something. Resist this impulse - and rather continue with step three ...

  • Thank you

    So accept the compliment and thank you for that - also with a smile. This is not just the positive reaction that the praisee can (rightly) expect. It also shows your interlocutor that you have his judgment to appreciate.

    When in doubt, concentrate less on the content of the compliment and more on a polite smile. You can decide later whether the praise fits or not.

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October 30, 2020Author: Jochen Mai

Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.

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