Why is my life getting so complicated
The goal is a long way off and it seems increasingly unlikely that you will achieve it? You don't want to fight anymore and you are tired of the hard life? Then you may find yourself in the same trap as I am very often. The eternal struggle does not have to be.
We fight against and for an illusion
What are we fighting against? We are here now complaining. We struggle with the past. We dread the future. And now?
The past is over and the future may never come. But now, this moment, it's a reality. Where is the fight? Where is the hard life?
I had panic attacks almost every day for over half a decade. When I look back, it feels like a fight. But was it really one?
Every panic attack came, felt hideous, and went again. That’s the fact. It became a struggle when I started complaining about it. I complained about how difficult my life was. When would the next fear come? Would it ever get better. If my life would ever get easier
Like moths into light: that's why life is so difficult for me
What also really is, not an illusion, but real, is our desire for peace. Our desire for rest, for happiness, and our desires behind it.
Only we do it like the flies that hang on the window pane for hours at night to get to the light. We want so very pure, pure in the light, secure, comfortably warm.
The idea of a better future is the lamp that burns behind the window pane. The terrible past is the darkness of the night behind us.
We want to get away from it, away, away. We do not understand that we cannot escape it. That we don't have to escape it! We hold the illusion for life, just as the flies hold the lamp for the sun.
We are separated from our apparent, alleged happiness by an invisible veil: our never-ending thought circles about the night, the gloomy, the dark times of our past. These circles of thought no longer allow us to act and think clearly. We don't know anything anymore; we ponder.
Life is instantly easier when we are really HERE
These never-ending circles of thought are to us what window panes are to flies at night. There is no way we can get out of it if we fight against it.
If we keep flying against it. Hold against the fact that this path does not seem to work. Lose ourselves in it and fix only this one point, see nothing else. This great, warm glow that just doesn't get any closer every day.
We don't see that we are part of the darkness, that we are in the middle of it! Just like the earth drifts in the middle of pitch-dark space. We have enough space in the dark, we are fine in it.
On the other hand, darkness is just an illusion. Where does it end, where does it begin? Where do the sun's rays end?
We would just have to stop running towards the future for a single moment. Just stop pounding our noses for a moment. In this shop window full of promises and empty phrases about a better tomorrow.
Who knows what we'd find in the silent, dark night?
We are so fixated on our future and on our difficult past that we cannot live with pleasure and intelligently.
We are stupid, stupid! Like the flies that stick to the window at night. We are looking forward to the one thing. Or we just want to get away from the other thing. And we don't move a bit.
Every day an unhappy person suffers anew until he changes his attitude towards the world.
We do not realize that we are making our suffering worse and worse. That with hating the past we only create more suffering. Because nothing else has our attention.
We do not notice that we are trembling because of the fear of the (bad) future. That we sweat because of the desire for the (good) future. That the future is not to blame, because it is imagination. We tremble and exhaust ourselves in the here and now. Loaded with frustration with the now that is so disappointing, we are powerless. We're nervous and hectic, and we actually create a bad future:
The shitty, damn, hard now of tomorrow.
This is Plan B that works for everyone
So what do I have to do? Nothing at all. And yes, that's easy for me to talk to. I speak for both of us here: think of the flies. My plan B is to stop fighting. We are already where we should be.
The question is whether you want to keep flying stubbornly into the light, rubbing against the pane of glass with the other flies. Or whether you let your fight against the past be and stop your hunt for the future.
Whether you continue to consider your image of the future to be more important than what is now. The presence. Or if you do it the other way around:
Enjoy the image of the future and have it in front of your eyes, but rediscover and appreciate the here and now.
How do you stop fighting the past? By discovering - bit by bit - something good in every dramatic moment of the past. Hey, there was at least one good thing: you were there. Then there has to be more. Everyone finds out the rest in their own way.
So what is Plan B for Eternal Struggle in Life?
Do not give up!
But do, do, rest, do.
This is different from defending yourself against what has long been there.
Some call it Love what is, like Byron Katie, who also fills a chapter in my book with her answers.
(More about her meditation technique: The Work, a self-help technique for every problem)
Some call it acceptance, like Eckhart Tolle:
Some speak of EXPECTATIONS, with which life makes you WAIT forever as desired - freely based on Robert Betz:
And some say we should just free ourselves, like Jaklef:
Image by analogicus from Pixabay
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