What could be nicer to be alone or with friends?

Being alone together: where did it go?

When my life turned inside out in the last few weeks, one thing particularly scared me: in the past, I had never dared to move into an apartment that, if in doubt, I could not hold alone. This time, however - and after nine years of complete conviction that my stubbornness made me absolutely unsuitable for a flat share and that I had left this chapter behind me forever after two short and daunting attempts, I was now confronted with the question: move out and that Leave behind the apartment that I have just arrived in and that I have grown so fond of - or give the topic of shared accommodation a new chance.

Now living alone has all sorts of advantages: You can do and not, design and determine what and how you want, and with your home, your emotional base and your place of retreat, you are completely independent of everything that may exist outside the window - a state that I have always found very empowering and calming. After the first panic that I would only be able to achieve this status again with another move and leaving my dream apartment and my new home behind, I began to think again about the concept of the flat share: Could I really imagine my apartment again with a To share with a roommate? How am I actually nine years after my last attempt on the subject of shared accommodation?

And can it all turn out to be pretty good?

After the last three years of getting used to the fact that there was almost always someone around with whom togetherness felt very relaxed, the idea of ​​a shared apartment suddenly began to take on new colors in my head. Could that, today and right now, in my exhilarated situation, maybe even be a nicer model than living alone again?

After all, a shared apartment is first and foremost living together with a person that can not only go wrong, but also be something really beautiful. If the right person, or even several right people, lives in the apartment, that also means that you are not necessarily alone if you don't want to be. And if there is a lot of space, a lot of understanding and a lot of familiarity, in the best case scenario it can lead to the situation that I have often missed in living alone: ​​being alone together.

Friends as appointments that are ticked off

The longer I thought about it, the more absurd it seems to me that as we get older we almost only find this in relationships: the casual hanging out without having to talk a lot or play any program. Lounging on the sofa together while one reads and the other does something on the laptop. To be together that feels so comfortable that it is the most relaxing state after a hard day. And exactly the state that I always had with friends in the past, whereas today they are mostly just guests. You invite, you cook, you talk a lot, at some point you get tired and go home, where everyone comes down for themselves and crawls into their beds. The more we all work and the less time we have, the more meetings with friends become, to make matters worse, appointments that are ticked off, to which you drag yourself rushed to, only to be happy when you arrive at nine and finally returned home after a wine spritzer.

The home with friends

Exactly this home, in which you can really come and go after appointments and meetings, can not only be your own or the couple's apartment, but also the shared apartment. The shared flat among friends who know each other, who honestly avoid each other, but can also spend time together. The flat share, in which there are enough rooms for common, but also your own rooms, in which you can withdraw. And the shared flat, in which nine years later you live completely differently than back then, when living alone, university life and leaving every day was still so new and exciting.

It won't be long before it begins, my new flat-sharing life, which I would never have expected again. And I could no longer look forward to having a place not only for my future roommate and myself, but also for our entire family of friends. Because the shared flat is where we don't forget how to be together with our friends as a matter of course. Where you can always come by, whether on a Sunday evening or in the middle of the night. And in which our relationship and work tunnel vision can open up again for everything else that can happen in life.